Good morning. It’s great to be making Australia great again, as one of my philosophical mentors almost puts it.
It’s OK to be great, you know.
That’s not to say that it’s necessarily OK to be white, or any shade, really, in so many words, although we all know it is, and I’d just like to make it perfectly clear that none of our people in the Senate actually knew what they were doing when they voted the way they did.
I’m having an investigation into the matter and if it’s discovered any of those senators wrongly claimed a vote, they’ll have to pay it back and we’ll return to business as usual. That’s the way we play it. Just ask Stuart Robert.
If there are any questions, I’ll be sending Mathias Cormann out to explain this regrettable matter. He’s good at that.
Moving along, I want to speak this morning to the voters of Wentworth. Beautiful. Beautiful people. Rich people. The best.
Why would anyone run away to, say, Manhattan from a place like this? Just because things didn’t turn out your way? Sad, Malcolm. Really sad.
But talking about moving from one place to another – I care very deeply for your most cherished concerns, some of which involve the Holy Land, as I like to call it.
And I know that many of you who have a vote wake up every morning, the harbour sparkling and the Bondi waves rolling in, thinking about Jerusalem.
As it happens, those thoughts have been waking me, too, as the byelection here rolls towards my government.